You really wrecked my world. I find myself going back and fourth with you. One moment, I am hysterically crying because my heart hurts so bad and another, I am thankful to God that you are out of my life. Parts of me don't want it to be over and I convince myself that things could be better if we just gave it another try. If I'm honest with myself, I would tell you that I still love you so much, and yet i regret falling in love with you in the first place. Other parts of me are angry at you for treating me the way you did and then I am angry at myself for letting you use me for so long. I meant nothing to you, and I gave you everything I knew how to give. I sacrificed friendships for you, my reputation, my grades, my relationship with Christ, and my dignity. You certainly weren't worth it, even though at the time, I thought you were. I convinced myself that you were worth all of the pain and heartache i was going through because i thought i could change you. I thought that if i just gave you a little more, that you would come around and realize how great an asset i am to your life and you would love me back. Boy was I wrong. And i got majorly hurt in the process.
Honestly hurts. And it makes me vulnerable.
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
A Fine Frenzy, Almost Lover
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