A Fast from Cash

Monday, I started a week long fast from credit cards.  Initially, the desire to do such a thing rose from the lack of funds available on those cards.  I recently lowered my credit limit so that I wouldn’t be tempted to continue a high balance once it was paid off. It was a way to keep myself accountable since I tend to be irresponsible in that department.  However, that didn’t seem to work like I had intended.  I was still spending money, coming within a few dollars of going over my limit.  I would simply pay off a balance just to put one back on.  When I looked over my recent purchases, food was the most common purchase with clothing stores coming in a close second.  $15 at Matchbox,  $13.60 at Austin Grill, $9 at Chipotle.  That was just the past 2 days!  To top it all off, I was spending close to $25 a week on Starbucks.  Needless to say, I needed to get my spending under control. 

I was about to embark upon something I’ve never committed to do ever before... fast from using money.   I have to! I can’t keep living like this.  I am here in D.C., living a personal life that contradicts the things I am doing and saying.  When I speak to the groups about my passions and my dreams to see poverty and hunger fade away, here I am spending $15 on half of a pizza. What a hypocrite I am! I can’t expect the rich to give away their money or sell their possessions if I can’t sacrifice my own selfish desires and temptations to have the newest, greatest, bestest thing.  (yes, I know bestest isn’t a word...but go with me here.)

Amelia and I shopped at Trader Joe’s on Sunday to stock up on groceries.  I told myself that the groceries I purchased would be the last purchase for a week.  I knew this fast was going to take some self-control and some strength, but I didn’t expect it to be too difficult.  “It’s just a week. That’s easy.”

Honestly, I started this fast simply because I can’t afford to keep buying food and other meaningless things at this rate.  I have literally run out of credit on my credit cards and I certainly don’t have any in my bank account.  It was an easy choice- don’t spend because I don’t have anything to spend.   It certainly isn’t a noble feat, just common sense.  Little did I know what God was going to teach me through it. 

This is day four of my fast from money.  The first few days were easier simply because I didn’t need to buy anything.  Eric and I ate some left over taco meat that was left in the fridge at the church.  We ate that two days in a row.  Lunch was covered.   Monday, I ate left over Mexican food and Tuesday night I ate from my grocery supply at my house.   Wednesday, I talked to the adult sponsors about my decision to fast from money and I guess they took pity me and treated me to a nutritious lunch at McDonalds.  That was so sweet.  Dinner that night was provided by a friend who had left over’s from his dinner.  Score.  Today’s lunch was a scrumptious frozen meal.  I really love those. They are like comfort foods for me!  As for dinner tonight, I’m sure I’ll eat some of the sandwich meat I have on hand at home.  Food seems to be under control and easy to get!

In the few short days of this fast, I have learned so many things.  First, I have learned how I spend my money without even thinking about it.  I just pull out that little piece of plastic and swipe it.  Easy.  I could easy rack up a few hundred dollars if I wasn’t careful.  By giving myself restrictions, I am able to fight the temptations to walk into a store to get a soda or to go to Macy’s and buy a dress or some new makeup.  When I feel the need to buy something, anything, I just remind myself that I have committed to abstain from credit card purchases for a week.  Then, the false feeling of need to buy something passes.

I’m learning that I suffer from compulsive buyer’s disease.  I don’t think about the consequences of my purchases.  When I walk into a store, especially one that sells high end designer bags, makeup and clothes, its like some sort of mechanism turns on in my head and takes over my thoughts and my actions.  All I can focus on are those bags to the left, this new makeup line, or that new styled shoe.  It’s like I’m in a vacuum.  Nothing else matters except my potential material possession.  They call out to me. “Carrie! Carrie! Buy me! Take me home!”  I am forced to cater to their demands by surrendering my little piece of plastic into the hands of their master.  I’m a prisoner and I can’t break free.  Until now.

My credit card fast has opened my eyes to what is really a need and how most of my purchases are simply unnecessary.  I am privileged to live in a country that is so wealthy yet there are so many people around the world that live on less than $1 a day.  I can’t seem to shake the feelings of guilt when I buy something unnecessary that just adds to my pile of crap. My eyes are opened to my reckless spending habits.

I’ve also learned a lot about God’s provision.  It’s true! He does provide for all of my needs!  It is so easy to give credit to your card for providing since it is the bridge that crosses the gap between the store’s property and your personal possession.  But when you take a step back and stop relying on your credit card, you are able to see how God uses others to provide for your needs.  The story of the sponsor buying McDonald’s for me is a perfect example.  I don’t have to worry about where my next meal comes from.  I know that I will be fed.  God will provide.

It’s a liberating feeling when you break free from the bondage of money.  It enslaves us and dictates so much of what we do, say, and think.  When we think of our money as not ours but simply something God has given us, it is a lot easier to share with others and give things to those who have nothing.  We didn’t earn any of it and therefore we have no right to hoard it!  I’m trying the best I can to reverse these dangerous practices I’ve known for 24 years.

Not only have I learned a lot about myself and my priorities as far as my money is concerned and the truth that God is a provider, I have also gained a little tiny morsel of perspective on how some people struggle to do certain things that they want simply because they don’t have the fund available.  I want this experience in D.C. to be one that changes me forever, not only for a brief moment.  I hope to learn as much as I can about the millions of people that struggle from paycheck to paycheck just to feed their family.  By abstaining from my credit card, I can see how there are certain things I want and need yet I can’t purchase right now.  However, most people can’t purchase the essentials because all their money goes to rent and bills.  My experience is just a tiny look into the lives of the poor. 

To top it all off, there are certainly added health benefits to all of this.  Since I am no longer frequenting Starbucks and the local restaurants by the office, I am able to cut back on calories.  Ever since I moved to D.C., I’ve struggled to meet my goal of losing 15 lbs before school starts.  Luckily, I haven’t gained any, so that is positive.  By abstaining from purchases I am able to eat what I have already purchased, including fresh fruits and veggies.  It takes a few extra seconds to plan out what I am going to eat that day instead of relying on Subway or Cal Tor. 

Overall, I have really enjoyed the past few days without money.  As a result, I have decided to continue this fast for another week but allowing myself to purchase truly necessary items such as groceries and toiletries.  I need to cut out all the fluff and this experiment is allowing me to do so!