"You touched my heart and you touched my soul"

I seem to take my mood cues from music. Whatever I'm listening to dictates my mood. I love to quote music lyrics. Music reminds me of certain life events, people, and places. I associate my memories directly to the music I was listening to at the time. When I listen to anything from Mamma Mia, I think of that time I convinced Shelton that seeing the sing-a-long version of Mamma Mia would be a fabulous idea. (He loved it by the way...HA!) It also reminds me of Jenny because she would listen to that soundtrack over and over again until she finally got the movie for her birthday. When I hear Ashley Simpson, I am reminded of the time that Kat P and I drove around Brownwood singing "Pieces of Me." It also reminds me of the summer that I listened to Jessica Simpson everyday as I drove to work in Granite Shoals. My sister got me hooked on that album. Anytime a song from RENT comes on, I am reminded of all the times Kristen and I sang our hearts out as we drove to get a soda at the gas station or when we did "fly-bys" or when we cried over boys. And who could forget.... "Back that ass up"....I will always remember this song because it played over and over again in the background of the first party I ever went to. I was a sophomore in high school and had never been around underaged drinking in my entire life. I was scared out of my mind. So was T and Mandar. Mandar's mom was picking us up from the party and we were all so scared to do anything that might make her mom suspicious so we were the cool ones that just watched in awe as everyone else got wasted and we sat around holding drinks, pretending like we were actually drinking them. (I'm pretty sure we were all too scared to actually drink them.) ha! Oh and mandar... "A long, long time ago. I can still remember.....sh*t brown truck." Need I say more? That song is the theme song for our entire Junior year and all the shenanigans we got into with band boys and flat tires and such!

Dave Matthews always reminds me of Brett, Nathan, Tara, Jo, David, and Ben. I remember the time that Nathan and I snuck away from Fiesta to go down to Rivercenter mall to buy tickets to our first Dave concert. It was well worth the risk of being busted. Beastie Boys make me think of IXA and their awesome spring sing shows. I will always remember the time I painted my room in 8th grade. I listened to the entire Celine Dion album called, "Let's Talk About Love." I listened to it about 100 times. HALLE BERRY! HALLE BERRY HALLE BERRY. Always Jo. (and of course, the Jesse McCartney song, "Leavin.") Eddie Vedder's soundtrack to "Into the Wild" always reminds me of last summer in DC. I played that album a lot as I spent many hours in the office, being productive, of course. "Ghetto Prostitute" aka "Ghetto Superstar" is a memory that I will always have of Lauren Kelly. "You are a tower"- Kelly, Wall, Bates and Choir Tour in Tennessee. "Blessed are They" reminds me of all the times Lauren and I sang that song duet style and when Katy sang her solo on choir tour to NYC.

Flight of the Concords reminds me of Josh, Garth Brooks reminds me of Stan, Goo Goo Dolls reminds me of Kelly in 8th grade, and Def Leppard reminds me of Eleazar. "Go on, go on...leave me breathless" Ahh, good times with Tara and her pep squad officer routine. I can still do that dance too. Anytime a good 80's classic comes on, I am always reminded of Kendal and Mal and all the times we danced around the apartment singing and laughing. Oh, and how could i forget?? "I don't even know...where my life would be!!" oh Mal. Gotta love her! Muse always makes me think of Lauren. So does Slumdog and Wicked. Any of the music on Grey's will always remind me of Lauren too since that was our show that we watched together (among many others).

It's obvious that listening to music is how I am reminded of all of my memories. Music serves as the place marker in my mind for all the good times I have shared with all of my good friends. Just a few notes in a song or a few phrases of lyrics can muster up the memories I thought I had forgotten. I am thankful for the role that music and lyrics play in my life. If you read my tweets, you know how central music lyrics are to me. Music often is able to express feelings and emotions in ways that I am not able to articulate. There is beauty in them and I appreciate the thought that each writer put into his or her songs. I search for lyrics that can express my joy, my pain, or my despair. When I find them, I hold them close. They then become directly associated with that moment in my life and I forever remember those times based on that particular song. Sitting on the metro today, ipod on shuffle, I found a song that is almost exactly perfect for what I am feeling at this moment. I've never even heard this song before. Didn't even know I had it. Funny how this is exactly what what I want to say to you even though I don't know how.....

"Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,

Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.

Took your soul out into the night.

It may be over but it won't stop there,

I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.

You changed my life and all my goals.

And love is blind and that I knew when,

My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your hand.

Shared your dreams and shared your bed.

I know you well, I know your smell.

I've been addicted to you.

[x2]

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.

And as you move on, remember me,

Remember us and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.

I've watched you sleeping for a while.

I'd be the father of your child.

I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I love you, I swear that's true.

I cannot live without you.

[x2]

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.

In mine when I'm asleep.

And I will bare my soul in time,

When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.

I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.